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Who's Your Daddy?
2005 - Unrated - 105 Mins.
Director: Andy Fickman
Producer: Verna Harrah
Written By: Andy Fickman, Maria Veltre Druse, Jack Sekowski
Starring: Brandon Davis, Dave Thomas, Kadeem Hardison, Ali Landry, Colleen Camp, Lin Shaye
Review by: Joe Rickey
   

Smile if you're hopelessly typecast as a bimbo!!
Yet another entry into the teen sex comedy genre, 'Who's Your Daddy' concerns a teen (Brandon Davis) who struggles day-to-day to get through the trials and tribulations of high school. Making things even more difficult are two clueless and annoying parents who manage to cause the teen even more pain and embarrassment than he already experiences on a daily basis thanks to the school's jock contingent and his annoying little brother (Justin Berfield from TV's "Malcolm in the Middle"). So when a mysterious messenger shows up at his door informing him that the parents he thinks he knows are not his real parents, he is surprised, to say the least. He comes to learn that his biological parents are respectively, a centerfold, and the owner of an adult magazine empire (think "Playboy"). They have both recently passed away and now he is the sole owner of the aforementioned empire and worth millions upon millions of dollars. He immediately quits school to go and run the magazine which leads to a natural change in his lifestyle. Unfortunately, it also leads to a change in his personality, as he becomes snide and rude to most everyone he knows or encounters now that he has more money than he knows what to do with. Even the girl from his high school who harbored a not so secret crush on him when he was a nobody, gets a dose of his boorish new persona. Will the guy change his ways? Will the girl get the guy? More importantly, will the movie ever end?

'Who's Your Daddy' was originally scheduled for theatrical release before distributor Premiere went belly up before even releasing one film (there other notable project was 'Slap Her, She's French' which eventually made its debut on the cable network 'ABC Family' under the title 'She Gets What She Wants'). Universal saw an opportunity to mine the teen sex comedy market once again, and acquired the rights to 'Daddy' for what I am almost positive was nothing more than a pittance. I hope they did anyways, because while the film will likely snare some rental revenue from a few unsuspecting consumers misled by the "unrated" label and the picture of an artfully semi -naked Ali Landry of Doritos commercial fame that dominates the DvD box cover. Once word gets out that the film is an unfunny, distasteful, and otherwise sleazy attempt at copying the formula that made a hit out of 'American Pie', the film will more than likely take its rightful place as a dust magnet, on the shelves of video stores everywhere.

Problems with "Who's Your Daddy" begin with a cast of amateurs supplemented by a handful of veterans who should know better, and in total giving some of the worst performances I've ever seen in a feature film. In the lead role, Brandon Davis presents such a vortex of energy-sucking unlikability that one wonders how he ever got an audition, let alone the role. With his two note range, he alternates between boredom and overzealousness, and manages only to induce a profound sense of irritation in the viewer. As his "pretend father" veteran character actor Dave Thomas indicates nothing so much as that he would rather be anywhere else other than on the set of this film. I can't say I really blame him. The other varied performers either don't try hard enough to leave any sort of impression (perhaps a good thing for them since they might be able to get work if no one realizes they appeared in this mess) or try far too hard and become grating, not unlike the lead.

The film's problems don't end with the cast, unfortunately. Director Andy Fickman, working from a screenplay he co-wrote with two others, lends the film nothing that could charitably be deemed any sense of rhythm or comic timing. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised to learn that he has no idea what is meant by either of the two aforementioned terms when it comes to filmmaking. Of course, the fact that the screenplay is chock full of jokes on the blue side of the comedy taste line doesn't help matters. You can try all you want but sexual promiscuity of minors isn't something to be found humorous in any comedy, nor are countless jokes surrounding bodily functions made any funnier when they again have to do with said minors.

'Who's Your Daddy' is one thoroughly awful film in every sense of the word.
 
Movie Guru Rating
Offensive and completely without value.  Should never have been released.
  0 out of 5 stars

 
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