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A Guy Thing
2003 - PG-13 - 101 Mins.
Director: Chris Koch
Producer: David Ladd, David Nicksay
Written By: Greg Glienna, Pete Schwaba, Matt Tarses, Bill Wrubel
Starring: Jason Lee, Julia Stiles, Selma Blair, James Brolin, Shawn Hatosy
Review by: Carl Langley
   

These panties are as soiled as this picture
If Greg Gilenna, the screenwriter credited for A Guy Thing, had not written the screenplay for Meet the Parents, I would have suggested that he be ostracized from Hollywood. Yet, Gilenna is not the only one to blame, as it took four writers total to muster out a stink bomb. The director Chris Koch surprised nobody with his lame Nickelodeon flick, Snow Day, and it is no shock here that his sophomore effort is worse. Together they produced a dreadful and atrocious film that will lodge so many unsanitary and chintzy jokes into your brain that a lobotomy will seem nothing but salubrious to revoke whatever horrific memories you conceive.

Paul Morse (Jason Lee) is about to marry Karen (Selma Blair), whom he considers to be the perfect woman, yet blind to her imperiousness. At a bar on the night of his bachelor party, thrown by his best friend, Jim (Shawn Hatosy), Paul becomes inebriated and wakes up the next morning beside a blonde girl, Becky (Julia Stiles), which is not his fiancée. Immediately Paul assumes that he must have cheated on Karen. Hold on to your hats – Becky is Karen’s cousin – and the laxative jokes build from here on out.

Two of my biggest pet peeves when watching movies are pointless scenes that do not belong in the finished product and absurd scenes that realistically would never happen. Paul gets a bad case of the crabs and goes to a department store to buy some treatment. Instead of reading the instructions on the box, he asks the clerk how to properly use the product. Predictably it transmutes into an embarrassing moment because the clerk announces Paul’s STD across the store. Who would have the audacity or to be so cloddish to repeatedly shout out unfortunate health problems in front of other customers?

The title is given as to expect all guys to understand what Paul is going through, as if they have all been in his farfetched situation. Karen finds a pair of Becky’s dirty panties in Paul’s apartment. Paul lamely explains that he bought it out of a bin at a dollar store and he was going to give it to her as a gift. She has trouble believing a pair of soiled undies could be bought, so she calls the store, explains the situation to the current clerk. Somehow, the man predicts what is happening and falsely apologizes for selling it. When he hangs up the phone, an addlepated customer stares at him and he explains, “It’s a guy thing.” Please - give me a break.

A Guy Thing is not funny, not romantic, and not charming. The three main stars barely salvage the film from turning into a total flop. One would wonder what in the world would cause talented actors such as Jason Lee, Julia Stiles, and Selma Blair to succumb to star in a dim-witted comedy such as this. Talk about potential wasted! My only guess is that mortgage was sucking them dry and they desperately needed a paycheck.
 
Movie Guru Rating
A train wreck.  So bad some may find it unintentionally entertaining.
  1 out of 5 stars

 
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